Comrade Corbyn's Allotment, 2018

Another excuse to satirise Labour Party politics of 2015-20 and its leader, Jeremy Corbyn, in particular. It seems unbelievable and horrifying now that he could have held that position for so long.  The background to this pot is the attempted murder in 2018 of former military officer Sergei Skripal and his daughter Yulia in Salisbury - presumably on Putin's orders - using the nerve agent, Novichok. There was a repeat use of this chemical weapon that killed two UK citizens. Corbyn refused to condemn Russia for an attack that might have resulted in the mass poisoning of much of the population of a British city. 

Comrade Corbyn's Allotment, (based on Mary Mary Quite Contrary): 

Comrade Corbyn

Puppet of Putin

How’s your allotment grow?

With Novichok

PIE

Antisemites and a

Spy

Poisoning pretty maids

And then

Lying

Low.

Corbyn leans on his spade, a basket of beetroot at his feet. There's a story in that but it is a minor detail for this pot, anyway. Shami Shakrabati waters the allotment as Niobe, 'all tears,' as she fondly strokes an Ermine and John Mcdonnell is wheeling away the skull harvest in his barrow. 

Death calls by and does a final sweep. 

Party time with John McDonell...

This has been described as 'equal opportunities offence,' which I whole heartedly endorse. 

John McDonell had a farm
Eee Aye Eee Aye oh!
And on that farm he planted cash
But it didn't grow.

With a deficit here
And a printer there
And quantitive easing everywhere,

With normal times here
And special times there
Borrowing and spending and selling off shares,

With Osbornes here
And Camerons there
And Tory porkers hogging the air,

With protests here
And campaigns there
And Corbynistas tearing their hair,

Poor Johnny Donell's printer jammed.
His farm just had to go...

Jeremy Corby's Cider Jug

A Cider jug for Jeremy Corbyn - the Corbo-sensitive should look away now.

Jeremy Corbyn
Likes it cosy
His beard and bonnet
A little bit posy?
Perhaps his glasses are tinted rosy..
His politics are Crap.

He's a great admirer of Hamas
Khaled Meshal is his friend.
In bed with Hezbollah
Sir Hasan Nasrullah
Doth ram-rod his glistening rear end.

So watch it if you're arty
And offend the Shariati
Or blaspheme the Cornbynati
You'll feel the force of their knee-cap

And mind if Corbyn wins the day
If you're a Jew, or if you're gay
Because jihadis want their pay
And he's a squirming in their lap.

So soddit let's just have a party
Proper Bacchanaliati
Lest Cobyn's sychophantiati
Turn off our cider tap!